apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
