i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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