Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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