Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize