yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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