omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I wish you could order shots online.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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