FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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