Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
