how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I am midnight drunk by noon
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Enjoy the penises
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
