Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
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