When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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