My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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