it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Randomize
