The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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