Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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