One girl and one boy is just not enough.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
