Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
