mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
