did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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