The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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