So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
