DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
