Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
