i think my mom watched the whole time
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
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