I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
