if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
