The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
