And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
