Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
