Cold hands, warm shart.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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