it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
