He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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