break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
