She just used a chaser for red wine.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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