Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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