So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
