do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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