spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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