Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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