So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
