we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize