community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Randomize
