Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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