i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I have fence marks all over my body
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize