I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
