oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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