Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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