i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize