don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
