How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
