I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
