she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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