You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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