I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
