just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
How does it feel to date your dad?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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