You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
