I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
