youre lurking in front of me
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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