Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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