I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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