GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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