escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
This house was built for laser tag.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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