That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
