what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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