Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
