After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
