Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
