You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
