Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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