Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize