so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
