So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
