Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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