i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
