Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
