"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
