Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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