They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
accomplished twins. life is a go
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
